Monday, October 21, 2013

Like No Other: Finding Gentlemen v. Finding Real Women

Every woman wants to be pursued, loved, admired and fought after, but for some reason it's hard to find men who will work for this fabulous reward...the reward of a woman's love! So who is to blame, the man or the woman for this lack of chivalry, valor and gentleman behaviors? You may be surprised to hear my answer, you may actually dislike my answer and completely disagree, but remember this is my opinion based on observations and experience. If you believe men are the source of all your problems and are the barriers in your life, then you might want to stop reading now.

You are wondering why chivalry is dead and why there are no gentleman to be found, or very few of them available? The answer is quite simple to hear, but not easy to absorb. The reason for the lack of real men is due to the lack of real women.

“When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.” ~Fulton Sheen, Life is Worth Living

Many women have lowered themselves into a category unknown to past generations. There no longer involves any sort of femininity, morality, ethics, duty, manners or elegance. Instead of using our femininity to achieve our desires and successes, we assume this gift is unnecessary, out of style and old-fashioned. Many women believe that we need to be completely the same in all aspects as men, but no matter how we look at this comparison, it can never be true. Each gender has wonderful gifts, which we can use to our advantage or abuse them with the rest of society.

The Gifts of a Real Woman

  • Femininity: The ability to possess the attention of an entire room only through a smile and a well-fitted dress to show off all of the desired curves. Not assuming the role of a man, but the role of competing alongside men in a feminine way.
  • Elegance: The ability to grab a man's attention, keep him interested without showing too much skin but just enough of your womanly curves keep his attention. Oftentimes women don't realize how much of an impact a pencil skirt will make upon a man versus a pair of ill-fitted jeans with tears and holes.
  • Modesty: This word always has such a bad connotation, but in theory we are definitely not talking about women needing to wear long prairie dresses and turtle-necks, that is far from reality. Modesty is a form of elegance, leaving a bit of mystery for the beholder. Why should more be relieved than necessary? Shouldn't a man have to work for this? And no the second date does not mean he has earned this!
  • Beauty: The beauty of a real woman is not in how much and how quickly she gives away of herself, but it is in knowing who deserves her affection and if they have earned those desires and acts of love.
  • Etiquette: The ability to portray those common sense manners, yet still being current with society's expectations, but never lacking in sophistication. This includes having the common sense in all facets of life, business, family, relationships and personal dilemmas. You will get no where in life without common courtesy.
  • Morals: This point is completely lacking in today's culture and rarely discussed unless in morbid terms. We have become absorbed with ourselves and our selfish desires. It no longer is necessary to care about the spiritual health of ourselves or others, but ultimately to fulfill our own needs. In the end, this will make for an unhappy relationship and an unfulfilled life of dreariness, numbness with worthless desires.

I have come to observe too many women and men who are in unhappy, whinny, dependent relationships, where each person lacks the level of self-confidence and self-control to make the relationship meaningful and eternal. What is the root cause of these battered relationships? Well, it stems from the woman not acting like a real woman and not having specific expectations. This lack of expectations may be a result of no family formation while growing up, or a drop of self-knowledge through a rebellious stage in college, but whatever the case, each woman deserves to have such standards. This doesn't mean she is high-maintenance or demanding, but that she has priorities in life along with morals in which she will not give away for a "fly by night" man. Women, you will be surprised that if you take control of the relationship, by becoming a real woman.  If your man truly desires you, for all the right reasons, will also change his behaviors, morals and attitude. I am not saying it is time to change men, but I am saying it is time to change ourselves to make men become real men (to stop degrading them and lowering their self-image) as they desire to be.  Let's stop dragging each other through the dirt by competing to be what we are not! It is time embrace the gifts and talents we were each given in order to live full and abundant lives of charity and love. Let's be real women!


  1. What a thought provoking blog post. I have to say that I agree with that many women are not acting like real women. They are instead playing games and leaving so little to the imagination when it comes to how they are presenting themselves to the world. This is a well written post. I have to agree with most of it.