Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Fabulous Art of Confronting Without Offending

Written By: Ooh La La (Danielle Marie)

There comes a time in everyone's life when we must step out of our comfort-zone and stand-up.  Stand up for what you may ask?  Well it could be anything from family support, defending our friends/husbands/lovers, watching out for our children or even making a short, but sweet opinionated comment to set the record straight.  This doesn't mean we need to always have our mouths open waiting for the next opportunity to let our voices be heard.  That is far from what I'm saying!  Unfortunately, too many of us talk and never listen, however, there will come a point when we all must TALK!  So, what will you say?

How do you confront someone, whether it's your parents, best friend, sibling, spouse or a stranger on the street?  We aren't talking about confronting someone just to show off, because too many people do that and yes, we may be referring to politicians.  No, we know that at some point we will all be place in a situation, which will probably take us unaware, but we will have to stand-up!  Whether it's standing up for what we believe in, stand up for our family or just to fix a lack of communication issue.

How to Confront a Situation and Still be Fabulous!

First, check your sources.  Before bolting head first into an explosive situation, make sure the facts line up.  If they don't, you are going to look like the idiot in the end.

Second, know how you plan to approach the situation.  But remember, it doesn't matter how you expect a situation to turn out, it never happens the way you envision it!  Be prepared, meaning, have a plan B.  Maybe your person won't be as confrontational as you expect or maybe you will end up being more calm during the conversation.

Third, be charitable.  Don't personally damage another person's reputation in public.  This conversation may be necessary and happen to occur in a group setting, but instead of personally attacking, try stating the facts and then explaining your opinion to get your point across.

Fourth, don't make enemies.  Confronting a person does not mean that you have a new arch-enemy!  This outcome will most likely depend on your approach to the situation, so stay calm and charitable.  Less emotion is always better.

Fifth, end it.  A conversation doesn't have to last a lifetime.  There's no need to hold a grudge and seek revenge whether you were in the right or not.  It's time to move on, and sometimes that means an apology is in order.  However, if you are the one who expecting an apology, DON'T.  It will probably never come, and if it does it will be when you least expect it.  Have some sympathy towards that other person.  Apologizing is one of the hardest acts for a person to do.  If it does come, welcome it with open arms!

So there you have it, confront without offending.  It may seem impossible, but it doesn't have to be so.  Keep your emotions to a minimum and have compassion for that fellow person!

Word to the Wise...know the art of being fabulous before confronting the situation!

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