Constructive Criticism v. Destructive Criticism

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

How do you deal with criticism?

Is there a certain type of personality that deals with criticism better than others?

We all know that critical opinions are a fact of life and oftentimes they can be given in a charitable and constructive way, but then again they can also be used as a defense or barrier for others to hide behind. We are all willing to dish out the critical comments, but more times than not, it is extremely difficult to acknowledge them, let alone accept them.

It is a trait of human beings to pounce on any and every opportunity when it comes to judging others. It either makes us feel better about ourselves or helps us justify our actions by comparing and  contrasting our virtues and vices. It should not be this way! It is easy to dish out the critical comments but it is another thing to accept them as constructive.

There is definitely a difference between constructive and destructive criticism. A person who has secure beliefs and a high level of self-esteem will be able to notice the difference. They will be able to take those constructive comments and put them to good use by improving any mistakes, but those who are unwilling to appreciate such well-meant opinions will struggle for the rest of their lives barely floating above the tide.

Four Ways to Determine Whether a Criticism is Constructive or Destructive

1.  If the comment made critically points out personal flaws of a person only with the intention to showcase failures then this is destructive criticism.

2. If the feelings of other people are not part of the consideration process when expressing an opinion, then it is most definitely destructive criticism. 

3. If the opinions are charitable, but firm, then this correction has validity and is a form of constructive criticism.

4.  If the comment makes a suggestion and then provides a tangible solution, it is an excellent form of constructive criticism. 

When You Cross The Road...

Written By: Danielle Silva Heckenkamp

I know, I know, we all want to go through life assuming that the world should revolve around one and only one person, ME! Well it doesn't and yet again, I have another example to discuss with our readers.

Most of us would think that the idea of crossing a road should be pretty self-explanatory, if not, then you should have learned that as a pedestrian, crossing the road when the cars have a green light is mostly likely not a good idea. It's actually probably a horrible idea!

Yes, of course I have a story to back up this post about crossing the road. Several days ago, while waiting for a light to turn green I noticed a woman standing at the corner ready to cross the street. Well, did she decide to cross when the pedestrian light gave her the recommendation? Nope! She decided that it would be smarter to begin crossing a busy street after my light turned green. Because of course pedestrians have the right of way, no matter what.... Nope! Wrong again! There's a reason the pedestrian light comes on at a certain time, well because that's the safest time to cross a busy intersection. Not only did this woman cross the road when the cars had the right of way, but she also chose to do so at a very, very, no I mean a very slow pace (age was definitely not a factor to the slowness, let's just say it was a smartphone). I was not the only unhappy driver to say the least, but I kept my cool and sat and waited for her. Because patience is an active virtue, right?

What's the moral to this story? Well there is actually more than one!

The obvious one is that the woman's inconsiderate approach and choice to ignore the rest of society functioning around her was ridiculous selfish. Who needs to watch for cars when they will watch for me, right? Wrong again!

Another lesson was the response many of the drivers wanted to relay or did display towards the woman. Yes, she was inconsiderate, but screaming at her was not moving her along any faster. Even though I was irritated, and it gave me a great topic for a blog post, it also helped me work on something that I struggle with each and every day....PATIENCE!

Have a Safe and Happy Weekend!

Yummy on My Tummy: Undergarments, Baby!

Written By: Danielle Marie

If you don't know by now, Katrina and myself believe in undergarments!  Who doesn't, right?  Well we aren't talking about just underwear, no, we believe a woman needs to smooth out those curves, suck-in that little bit of extra and wear what makes her feel like a woman!  How does she do this?  With the right undergarments!

The woman behind the innovative brand, Heather Thomson!

I recently decided to try a relatively new brand in women's undergarments, Yummie Tummie!  Actually, I've been meaning to try it for a long time, since the design concept is quite innovative.  Most of us wear camisoles under everything.  I probably have 30 different camisoles in my wardrobe!  If this idea is foreign to you, well, my reasoning behind camisoles is pretty simplistic.  The camisole takes the place of a full girdle, it helps smooth lines, suck a few things in and diminishes a bit of those annoying bra strap lines.

Yummie Life

Now, Yummie Tummie took the camisole and added a panel of elastic polyester right in the mid-section.  How creative!  The majority of women agree that the most unattractive body part is their mid-section.  So instead of wearing a girdle and a cami, this Yummie Tummie camisole does it all!  It smooths out those curves, sucks in that little bit of extra and redefines our beautiful womanly curves!  If I could wear this cami everyday, I would.

My final review of this product? IT'S A MUST-HAVE!  It lessens the layers (no girdles, Ladies) and it does a great job in slimming our hourglass figures!  Wear it for your next event under a fitted sheath dress!  You will feel absolutely fabulous, an no one needs to know your little secret! (Of course, please share with your Girlfriends!)